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| circa 2010 |
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| today currently: what a difference in looks and life |
I lost my first patient last week during my first round of clinicals. I've only been in school for less than two months and at the time my worst fear was hitting some one's leg (including my own) with those ever annoying wheelchair legs (they have a mind of their own I tell you). I could have never prepared myself for the emotion of losing someone I had only known for three days. And I know it sounds crazy, trust me. Knowing someone for three days is hardly means to be sad over their death, but nursing is so personal, more than skin deep. It's a connection of taking care of someone when they physically can't anymore. To lose someone after such a short time of knowing them, and feeling the way I did and having the emotions I had was something I could have never prepared myself for.
I was challenged in ways that I never though possible last week and I know I will be continually challenged; through all of that, I feel Jared is sometimes forgotten. The guy above is there the nights where I only see him for an hour; heck maybe only thirty minutes, just to see me. He is there to talk to, give his opinion, and never let me forget that he is there, even if he doesn't always say it. He is there for me, in ways I can't count or name. So thank you Jared, for being person you are to me.
Life is so short and fleeting and I am so happy, to be so happy, so young in my life because I know people wait their whole life to feel like I am right now.
Blessed I am, and I wish the same to you.
1 comment:
thank you for sharing your story about your patient. i can't imagine what that loss feels like. so direct and yet so detached. i'm an advocate on a dating abuse helpline and i've recently encountered a couple of callers who i fear are going to be killed by their partners. i have no way of knowing what will happen to them and every time we talk is extremely traumatic for me. i'm a mess and i've never met these people, so i know you are handling this as gracefully as anyone could.
the people we keep in our lives when we're dedicated to helping others are the most important. they are our rocks and our support systems, and knowing they are there for the moment when we need them is so precious. you're both so wonderful (and i love seeing the 2010 versions--so tan!).
xo nicole
writeslikeagirlblog.com
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