friday favorites: first clinicals

>>Those past two days were some of the most stressful, exciting, nerve-racking to the point of shaking, frustrating, and tiring days of my life.

When waking up on the morning of my first clinical two days ago, I honestly had no idea what I was in for. Going to class everyday, my routines were practiced and my skills tested and I felt prepared, like I would walk in and know what to do. Needless to say, simulators are not real people with real problems, and I felt way over my head, and in a way defeated. Not just defeated, but side-lined by a two ton tracker is more like it. I felt like the time I had spent in class practicing was a waste.

Yesterday was a different story. I knew the routine better and the patients schedules, I got more hands on with the patients (and honestly I cannot believe I actually did the things I did. I'll save your stomach, but just so you know, I can handle the bathroom duties, just not cleaning the mouth. Weird, right? Good thing I didn't become a dentist.) I learned how to take care of the people that cannot take care of themselves.

>>With that being said, those past two days were some of the most humbling, human-centered, blessed, and empowering days I have ever experienced.

To bathe someone, to wash their feet and brush their teeth and do all of the things for them that we (including myself) take for granted everyday. Being able to sit up in bed and get dressed alone is a feet. Doing these tasks that we so easily take for granted for other people is a life changing experience. It's wonderful and it's sad. More sad than I anticipated. We have been blessed with so much and most of them have so little. About 20 feet to call their own, a bedside dresser, a closet, and maybe a few pictures. Some have family and some don't. Their life is in that building and their bed where they sleep is where they bathe and use the restroom. Just think about it. Life would be so different, and it is their reality.

The line of work I am getting into is not what I expected, but I have been shown to many things by putting myself in their shoes. Every little thing I do can make a difference in some one's life, and hopefully I already have in some small way.

Anyways, thanks for letting me vent (and I'm sure there will be many more posts like this). And if you feel like sending up some prayers, I could use all of the strength I can get. Lord only knows what I am getting myself into.